Top 10 Worst Wedding Toasts of 2006

1. A toast to the happy couple ….. who’ve managed to put that whole ugly ‘restraining order’ business behind them.

2. Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in a toast to these two kids ….. who’ve had a very special connection ever since their eyes locked across the crowded waiting room at that STD clinic.

3. And here’s to the Bride ….. who got over her wild affair and infatuation with the Best Man ….. to be here with us tonight!

4. I’m sure you’ll all agree. The Bride looks as radiant as her plastic surgeon’s bank account!

5. Ya know, it’s so great that these two wonderful people wound up together and managed to stay together ….. even if her Dad thinks he’s a total moron.

6. So here’s to the two of you. May you find more happiness than I did with my cheating, lying, conniving, philandering, I-can’t-believe-what-I-ever-saw-in-her ex-wife!”

7. Here’s a Toast to the Bride ….. who looks as gorgeous today as she does in the pictures on “NakedBabes.com.”

8. Just before we get to the toast, the caterer says anyone who ate the bean dip should probably join the line-up for the washroom about now.

9. And here’s to the happy couple. Of course, we always thought he was waaaaaay too old for her ….. and that she was only after his money ….. but hey, look at them now!

10. I just want to share that I’ve seen the Bride naked many times. As a matter of fact, so have most of the guys in this room ….. and we all agree that the Groom’s one lucky guy!